I have become the person you warned me about

I was once warned not to embrace the “Bohemian lifestyle” because it was dangerous and degenerate. 

At the time, I pshawed it because it was in direct response to my decorating preferences.  Yes, the assorted pillows, the eclectic patterns and textures, the mix of vintage and personal art, baskets, candles, and various lighting types – all the doorway to debauchery and depravity!  

Firstly, I knew, that this person had no idea what bohemian even meant.  

(Below thanks to Wikipedia, BTW - paraphrased) Bohemianism  

Bohemianism is the practice of an unconventional lifestyle, often in the company of like-minded people and with few permanent ties. It involves musical, artistic, literary, or spiritual pursuits. Bohemian is a term for young artists and intellectuals with shared experiences of struggle and poverty, with an appreciation of friendship, idealization of art and contempt for money.  Subcultures are often referred to as "bohemian" in a figurative sense, especially (but by no means exclusively) if they show traits of a precariat.   

Precariat (!) another interesting word:  Precariat  In sociology and economics, the precariat is a neologism for a social class formed by people suffering from precarity, which means existing without predictability or security, affecting material or psychological welfare.  

Members of the precariat are only partially involved in labor and must undertake extensive unremunerated activities that are essential if they are to retain access to jobs and to decent earnings. Classic examples of such unpaid activities include continually having to search for work (including preparing for and attending job interviews), as well as being expected to be perpetually responsive to calls for "gig" work (yet without being paid an actual wage for being "on call").  The hallmark of the precariat class is the condition of lack of job security, including intermittent employment or underemployment and the resultant precarious existence.  This may sound like a dated term, something from the Industrial Revolution days, or the Great Depression.  But it is a very relevant term in the 21st century, directly linked with political developments including Brexit, Presidency of Trump, and the COVID 19 pandemic.  We have heard that “nowadays, there are not careers anymore, just jobs”.  Sometimes multiple jobs in order to make ends meet. Reports have shown that only one quarter of the population of so called civilized countries have enough funds at the end of the month for discretionary spending.  Living gig to gig.  Paycheck to Paycheck. 

I digress.  

I have come to the realization, that I am, in fact, living a bohemian lifestyle. Yes, financially – not such a favorable determination, I am proletariat.  I live paycheck to paycheck.  I have no discretionary spending.  This is fact.  However, my highest priority is not on my financial accomplishments.  Things that give me purpose and pleasure are books, films, music, and sex.  I have often times thought in the way that ‘things’ are not important. Experience, pleasure and relationships are.   (this is also a source of stress and struggle, because to survive in our world, we need money, even when we despise it)

This is dangerous and degenerate? Perhaps so to those addicted to commercialism and capitalism.  To go against what is expected , especially societal norms, is dangerous and degenerate.   (the person who warned me of this ‘lifestyle’ was/is , in fact, obsessed with image, and conforming to what is expected and ‘normal’) 

I have become the woman the woman I often fantasized about becoming, But it was a slow gradual evolution that I barely knew the journey was taking me there. But here I am. 

When I was about 15 or 16, I said I wanted to adopt a child or children.  A child who’s birth parent could not provide for them a safe and loving home.  –  The journey was more complicated than that, but here I am the proud adoptive mother of a beautiful, brilliant daughter. 

I have always known I was bisexual (since age 6 or 7) , and often when I was older would fantasize about being part of a sexual commune.  – The idea is more mature than a free-love brood, but I have a girlfriend and a boyfriend.  I am “ethically non-monogamous” and am active in the KINK community.   Sex and pleasure is important to me.  Not just my own pleasure, but those around me.  Love knows no bounds, it is eternal and connects us all.  

My boyfriend is an artist. Living gig to gig.  Proletariat.  Atheist.    

I live with my girlfriend, who is 17 years younger than me.  She also has her own boyfriend. 

I am surrounded by my books, my choice of music, my eclectic décor.   I have a black cat who eats my plants and demands cuddles with taps of her little paws.  My daughter is non-binary and pansexual, and a budding pagan.   

I am bohemian.  I am that lifestyle you warned me against.  And I am okay with that.